I know it has been awhile since i've been here to write you, and one of the reasons was that, I feel like now that I have a boyfriend it isn't the same to write and stone bash relationships. But, I guess I can still point out my opinions in the way people communicate and function. Let's talk about ex's...
I have a close group of hottie girlfriends who are perfectly capable of dating someone with intelligence, looks, personality, and humor. But for some reason... these "ex's"... who fall short in almost every catergory or another have these choke holds on my girls. Why is this? My friends aren't dumb, and they would agree with me if I pointed out their flaws. And after all of my thinking, and after going through it MYSELF with my ex, i figured out the only thing keeping these girls around... is... comfort. It is so much more difficult to start things off with a stranger. Luckily for me, the guy I'm with I've known for most of my lifetime. But for a girl to start new with a brand new guy just doesn't happen. it's uncomfortable. Both parties have a higher chance of getting hurt or dissapointing the other person than if they dated someone theyve been with before or have known as a friend before. But back in the day it didn't happen like that...
All the movies and fairytales talk about how the guy found the girl of his dreams walking through a mall or a park. HAS THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? No. I have never been walking through a store, locked eyes with a guy, and spoken to him. And You know who i blame? The freaks. yes. all you freaks out there have ruined the ways of meeting a mate. Because if a guy comes up to me.. asks me out, or tells me i'm beautiful.. he goes to the 'freak' category immedietly. In my head, only desperate losers would come up to me like that, he doesn't know me, he probably does this to a million girls. If there were hott, smart, funny, regular guys going up to girls and talking to them out of nowhere then maybe we'd give guys like this a chance. but 95% of guys that hit on me in public are guppies.
Now, In my situation.. after knowing my boyfriend for approx 10 years, and after an ongoing rivalry throughout highschool, I finally approached him on my own, got his number on my own, and made all of the first moves on getting to know him (more than I already did).. and it worked for me. But if I hadn't known him before.. there isn't a SHOT I would've spoken to him. I would've thought he was way too good looking for me, and most likely had a girlfriend.
If we knew ahead of time a guy was available, and wouldn't turn us down.. would we approach?
If we knew the guys who approach us weren't freaks but actually interested in us.. would they have a chance?
I guess it all comes back to our own insecurities and how comfortable we are in our own skin. Until we get there, we're going to continue to revert back to the last reachable ex-boyfriend in our times of lonelyness and despair. Aye aye aye!
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
There's still wax in your ears... and it smells.
So I sat in bed typing this out on my iphone all night. I am really trying hard to understand how this “thing” called the male brain works. Are we really still explaining the meaning of ‘NO’? Maybe that word doesn’t work anymore. Maybe it’s been opposite day forever in every guy’s brain. Maybe we need to start communicating with hand gestures and grunts. I wonder how these guys function at their jobs?
Guy: Can I take today off?
Boss: No.
Guy: Okay, see you tomorrow!
I mean, I can’t imagine why this selective hearing only applies to conversations with girls. And don’t give me that men and women communicate differently nonsense, because last time I checked... even 2 yr old toddlers knew what the word ‘NO’ meant.
There’s this one gentleman I call Mr. 7:20 that visits me very early in the morning when I work the coffee bar. This guy has asked me out TWICE, apologized for asking me out, asked me out again, and then even after I told him that he makes me feel UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!! He has the nerve to continue to show up and give me creepy compliments like.. ‘my favorite part of the day is when I come to see you’… Really? How sad your life must be. I’m not nice to you. I tell you that you make me feel uncomfortable. We don’t make eye contact. I’ve turned you down 3 friggin’ times. And I’m STILL the best part of your day? He seriously must think I’m the hottest chick in the dang world. Cause there’s no way my personality is winning this cat over.
I mean. What is it gonna take for guys to figure out that there is NO (there I go using that word again) chance that we will ever want to date you. Even if you paid me in macaroni-and-cheese-bubble-baths. I would still tell you to hit the road running. What else do we gotta do? Change our phone numbers? Ya’ll WONDER why I change my hair so often. I’m trying to disguise myself from the creepies. And what’s even worse? ALLLLLL of the creepies still find me, black, brown, short, long, blonde, bangs, no bangs, whatever, they still track me down and comment on how much better I looked as a blonde, or thank me for finally becoming the prettiest I can be.
I like you as much as I like eating rotten cabbage. I don’t even wish to touch pinkies with you, or even make eye contact with you, so I’m really not interested in what hair style you prefer to stalk me in.
Guy: Can I take today off?
Boss: No.
Guy: Okay, see you tomorrow!
I mean, I can’t imagine why this selective hearing only applies to conversations with girls. And don’t give me that men and women communicate differently nonsense, because last time I checked... even 2 yr old toddlers knew what the word ‘NO’ meant.
There’s this one gentleman I call Mr. 7:20 that visits me very early in the morning when I work the coffee bar. This guy has asked me out TWICE, apologized for asking me out, asked me out again, and then even after I told him that he makes me feel UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!! He has the nerve to continue to show up and give me creepy compliments like.. ‘my favorite part of the day is when I come to see you’… Really? How sad your life must be. I’m not nice to you. I tell you that you make me feel uncomfortable. We don’t make eye contact. I’ve turned you down 3 friggin’ times. And I’m STILL the best part of your day? He seriously must think I’m the hottest chick in the dang world. Cause there’s no way my personality is winning this cat over.
I mean. What is it gonna take for guys to figure out that there is NO (there I go using that word again) chance that we will ever want to date you. Even if you paid me in macaroni-and-cheese-bubble-baths. I would still tell you to hit the road running. What else do we gotta do? Change our phone numbers? Ya’ll WONDER why I change my hair so often. I’m trying to disguise myself from the creepies. And what’s even worse? ALLLLLL of the creepies still find me, black, brown, short, long, blonde, bangs, no bangs, whatever, they still track me down and comment on how much better I looked as a blonde, or thank me for finally becoming the prettiest I can be.
I like you as much as I like eating rotten cabbage. I don’t even wish to touch pinkies with you, or even make eye contact with you, so I’m really not interested in what hair style you prefer to stalk me in.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Can you get your ears cleaned?
Okay. Seriously. I have a few close girl friends that I surround myself with frequently, right? and somehow.. even though we are all VERY VERY different, we all have.. literally.. the same issues with guys. and although the competition between guys and their faults was close... the winner is (drum roll please).. GUYS WHO DON'T LISTEN!
Come on. This is really starting to kill me. We're not even talking about subtle hints, or post it notes. This is not understanding the words "I HATE YOU!". I don't even know if there is hope for you, if you don't hear the woman in front of you saying 'Stop doing that. Or i'll leave you'. It's friggin amazing. If you're bringing up things or doing things over and over again and the girl keeps telling you to stop? you should probably stop! and when you don't stop, and she LEAVES YOU, you DEFINITELY shouldn't ask her best friends 'why did she leave?'. It's embarrassing. And you douchbags are LUCKY that these girls are precious jewels, because eventually.. you're gonna do this 'hard of hearing' shindig with the WRONG woman, and you're gonna end up with a cracked up face. I myself, can be a little bit of a psycho which is why I am so glad that my guy has two functioning ears.
Another thing I don't understand. Talking to girls who have boyfriends. Put yourself in their boyfriends shoes genius. Would you like it if some better looking guy was tempting your woman with his sweet words and attention? No. you would kill the guy. So consider yourself a man who loves taken woman more than his own life. Because you might lose it if you get caught. And EVEN if you can convince the taken girl to leave her boyfriend for you.. You know that she'll leave you when the next 'better thing' comes along right? If she's willing to leave her man for you, she'll leave you for another man. It's a lose lose situation. And honestly, I think this is ALL about ego. It's like a challenge for the guy to try and swoop up someones girlfriend because that means that you were better than the guy who first swept her off her feet. Which is honestly pathetic. Who likes sloppy seconds? Do you really want a girl who's sharing her saliva and possibly more with you and some dude? Cause if you do, then you might be more into dudes than you are into girls. And you should get that looked at.
And Guys, if you have a girlfriend. You should probably make sure that there are no reasons she'd be interested in another guy. Being ignored, or forgotten about, or neglected, NOT LISTENING, being pushed aside for your band, video games, the "boys", or poker are gonna give you a girl who is convinced there is someone better for her.
I know that I'm sounding kinda harsh, but this really can't go on any longer. I don't know how much more I can take.
One last thing, Why do guys think that because they have a girlfriend it means they have to 'answer' to them or get 'permission' from them to do things? Is this just an excuse because you really want to do things your girlfriend wouldn't approve of? My boyfriend doesn't have to get permission from me to do squat. He can do anything. Except for deal drugs, go to strip clubs, cheat on me, become a transvestite, move to alaska, buy me flowers, wear my clothes, or convert to Judaism. Other than that, I think it's best to just be yourself and do what you wanna do. And if the girl/guy you're dating doesn't approve of that, then you shouldn't be together in the first place.
... That's what she said.
Come on. This is really starting to kill me. We're not even talking about subtle hints, or post it notes. This is not understanding the words "I HATE YOU!". I don't even know if there is hope for you, if you don't hear the woman in front of you saying 'Stop doing that. Or i'll leave you'. It's friggin amazing. If you're bringing up things or doing things over and over again and the girl keeps telling you to stop? you should probably stop! and when you don't stop, and she LEAVES YOU, you DEFINITELY shouldn't ask her best friends 'why did she leave?'. It's embarrassing. And you douchbags are LUCKY that these girls are precious jewels, because eventually.. you're gonna do this 'hard of hearing' shindig with the WRONG woman, and you're gonna end up with a cracked up face. I myself, can be a little bit of a psycho which is why I am so glad that my guy has two functioning ears.
Another thing I don't understand. Talking to girls who have boyfriends. Put yourself in their boyfriends shoes genius. Would you like it if some better looking guy was tempting your woman with his sweet words and attention? No. you would kill the guy. So consider yourself a man who loves taken woman more than his own life. Because you might lose it if you get caught. And EVEN if you can convince the taken girl to leave her boyfriend for you.. You know that she'll leave you when the next 'better thing' comes along right? If she's willing to leave her man for you, she'll leave you for another man. It's a lose lose situation. And honestly, I think this is ALL about ego. It's like a challenge for the guy to try and swoop up someones girlfriend because that means that you were better than the guy who first swept her off her feet. Which is honestly pathetic. Who likes sloppy seconds? Do you really want a girl who's sharing her saliva and possibly more with you and some dude? Cause if you do, then you might be more into dudes than you are into girls. And you should get that looked at.
And Guys, if you have a girlfriend. You should probably make sure that there are no reasons she'd be interested in another guy. Being ignored, or forgotten about, or neglected, NOT LISTENING, being pushed aside for your band, video games, the "boys", or poker are gonna give you a girl who is convinced there is someone better for her.
I know that I'm sounding kinda harsh, but this really can't go on any longer. I don't know how much more I can take.
One last thing, Why do guys think that because they have a girlfriend it means they have to 'answer' to them or get 'permission' from them to do things? Is this just an excuse because you really want to do things your girlfriend wouldn't approve of? My boyfriend doesn't have to get permission from me to do squat. He can do anything. Except for deal drugs, go to strip clubs, cheat on me, become a transvestite, move to alaska, buy me flowers, wear my clothes, or convert to Judaism. Other than that, I think it's best to just be yourself and do what you wanna do. And if the girl/guy you're dating doesn't approve of that, then you shouldn't be together in the first place.
... That's what she said.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Boys and the city: History
Because of the amount of men in my past life I had to do a clean up job and seperate my ex's into two categories. 1- Good History. 2- Bad History.
Good History is when I've dated a guy, we broke up, and i'd either date him again or continue to be his friend. Good History can also be that guy that you'd consider getting dinner with or hanging out with when you need to feel special (you know who you are mrs.) This happens. and It's kind of... Sad in a way. There have been guys in my life that i've had problems getting completely over. Like, why aren't we together again? why don't you like me? why didn't it work? and that's the worst. Usually around those type of guys I have to continualy remind myself of their deal breaker or downfall. Or just be happy that I still have them in my life. This one guy everyone knows is my Good History because it always goes back to him. If i see him in the street I must immediately look the other way, cause you know it's gonna be bad for me. If i have dated you before, and you still give me butterflies when i see you.. then your history is just too good! Maybe those kinda guys SHOULD be bad history. Obviously your not gonna date them again. SO they just need to die somewhere and leave you alone.
Bad History is pretty self explanatory. I hate you. You suck. I don't ever wanna date you again. You screwed me over. You made me mad. You broke every deal a dealbreaker could break. You have failed in life or in love and I'm gonna have to ask you to evacuate life and shut your mouth. Did I even need to explain?
Now what i'm so confused about is why Guys can't use the bad history category when looking back on their ex girlfriends. Every guy puts their ex's in like this.. anything goes category. Like, they might SAY they hate their ex girlfriend but they wouldn't even be mean to her face. or they might SAY that they'd never date them again but if you were lonely or if they showed up at your doorstep, you'd let them in and offer them a beverage. I'm not trying to say every guy has to hate their ex girlfriend but do they EVER? REALLY? I hate some of my ex's and even last night I saw one and he was completely civil to me. Why are you even acknowledging my existence? you should ignore me. I broke your heart. I was evil and mean to you. and you'd still let me go have coffee with you right now if I wanted to?
Guys- If a girl breaks your heart, cheats on you, stops calling you, flakes on you, makes excuses and breaks up with you. It's ok to not like her. It's ok to say.. No, you can't come over. Because you know what? She doesn't REALLY like you, or you wouldn't be keyword: HISTORY! She's using you! Because we girls know the power we have over our ex's. We know how to push their buttons and get our way and i know that this is evil, but it's true. Protect yourselves gentlemen! Put a friggin stop sign on your door, and say NO to the comfortable hook-up. It's never gonna be a good thing.
Now girls go delete your ex boyfriends number from your phone. And Guys? start hating on some girls. It's fun, believe me!
Good History is when I've dated a guy, we broke up, and i'd either date him again or continue to be his friend. Good History can also be that guy that you'd consider getting dinner with or hanging out with when you need to feel special (you know who you are mrs.) This happens. and It's kind of... Sad in a way. There have been guys in my life that i've had problems getting completely over. Like, why aren't we together again? why don't you like me? why didn't it work? and that's the worst. Usually around those type of guys I have to continualy remind myself of their deal breaker or downfall. Or just be happy that I still have them in my life. This one guy everyone knows is my Good History because it always goes back to him. If i see him in the street I must immediately look the other way, cause you know it's gonna be bad for me. If i have dated you before, and you still give me butterflies when i see you.. then your history is just too good! Maybe those kinda guys SHOULD be bad history. Obviously your not gonna date them again. SO they just need to die somewhere and leave you alone.
Bad History is pretty self explanatory. I hate you. You suck. I don't ever wanna date you again. You screwed me over. You made me mad. You broke every deal a dealbreaker could break. You have failed in life or in love and I'm gonna have to ask you to evacuate life and shut your mouth. Did I even need to explain?
Now what i'm so confused about is why Guys can't use the bad history category when looking back on their ex girlfriends. Every guy puts their ex's in like this.. anything goes category. Like, they might SAY they hate their ex girlfriend but they wouldn't even be mean to her face. or they might SAY that they'd never date them again but if you were lonely or if they showed up at your doorstep, you'd let them in and offer them a beverage. I'm not trying to say every guy has to hate their ex girlfriend but do they EVER? REALLY? I hate some of my ex's and even last night I saw one and he was completely civil to me. Why are you even acknowledging my existence? you should ignore me. I broke your heart. I was evil and mean to you. and you'd still let me go have coffee with you right now if I wanted to?
Guys- If a girl breaks your heart, cheats on you, stops calling you, flakes on you, makes excuses and breaks up with you. It's ok to not like her. It's ok to say.. No, you can't come over. Because you know what? She doesn't REALLY like you, or you wouldn't be keyword: HISTORY! She's using you! Because we girls know the power we have over our ex's. We know how to push their buttons and get our way and i know that this is evil, but it's true. Protect yourselves gentlemen! Put a friggin stop sign on your door, and say NO to the comfortable hook-up. It's never gonna be a good thing.
Now girls go delete your ex boyfriends number from your phone. And Guys? start hating on some girls. It's fun, believe me!
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
The Deal Breaker: Part 2, and a little friend-friend action...
Ok, So I know I said I was gonna write about friend-friends but, after a dinner with some of old girlfriends last night I felt as if I had some more things to say about this Deal-Breaker nonsense. Are there really guys out there like this? I am really starting to give up on the opposite sex and their strange flirting tactics. Ok, Here is a no brainer, and really.. we mean this, guys!
DO NOT make the girl you met less than 48 hours ago read poetry aloud to you in the morning. This makes us think two things... 1) you can't read. 2) you are the creepiest man alive. As my friend Chelsey says 'I don't do cold readings'... and she shouldn't have to. Why do you think that's ok? I just met you, I just STARTED to like you.. and now you've ruined your changes by making me feel as if i'm taking care of you in a nursing home. This may have worked in Beauty and the beast but it doesn't work in the real friggin world. And can we go back to the nursing home topic for a sec...?
Hey Ladies. These are places you PROBABLY shouldn't try to find men:
The Bar.
The Strip Club.
The Clinic.
or The Nursing Home.
and I honestly don't have anything else to say about that.
I also feel the need to blog about a story I heard last night. A Guy actually DREW a bouquet of flowers on a piece of paper. Now, flowers offend me. But the thought that some idiot guy couldn't even creepily buy real flowers, he DREW THEM!? I'm sorry. you need to be put down immediately. If you're gonna be a creep, you might as well act it out in real life. Love does not equal anime.
What happened in the world that the human race started behaving this way toward each other? What happened to meeting people, getting to know them, and liking them for who they were? I think of myself as a pretty honest human being, so chances are.. you're gonna know if you like me right away... and you're gonna know if i like YOU right away. you're either gonna be awesome or creepy. and if you're wondering why i haven't returned your calls lately, you should probably read 3 blogs back. It's safe to say that I don't think you're awesome.
Another deal breaker that must be addressed: Telling a girl you wanna marry her, before you've dated for at least.. and in weird circumstances.. a month or two. I keep meeting these guys who tell me i'm the woman of their dreams and the love of their life like.. a week after they met me! You know how I know you guys are lying? Have you seen me shave my legs yet? Have you seen me in the morning? Have you seen the scar on my knee? Have you heard me fart or burp? Do you know what I smell like when I smell bad? Have you seen the tooth missing in my mouth? I'm sure the answer to all of those things are no. And honestly? I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you I am perfect and precious all of the time. Although I want you to think this for as long as possible... I also want you to know what you're getting into. Cause there are gonna be days I don't want to put on my fake eyelashes or self-tanner, and I'd kinda like it if my husband didn't gasp when I look this way. So, before you're ready to throw around the MARRIAGE and MADLY IN LOVE words, I'm gonna have to ask you to smell my feet.....
Moving on. I'm actually confusing myself with this friend-friend idea. I know i'm the one who came up with it, but... I feel like the number of friend-friend guys in my life are getting smaller and smaller. Possibly because half of my friend-friends ended up dating me and going into flattered-friend zone. But anyways, You know a guy can only remain in the friend-friend zone pretty easily. You just ask yourself one question... Am i jealous of his girlfriend? If you are, then he cant be a friend-friend. if you're not jealous then, he's a friend-friend.
Now there IS a difference between being jealous he has a girlfriend, and just not liking the chic. Some of my friend-friends have dated girls, i just want to slap. I don't like the way they treat my FF's, i don't like the way they are little whiney babies, or I don't like that they are stealing their freedom. That doesn't mean I'm jealous of them, I just want my FF to find a new girl. If I'm jealous of them, I want to be in their shoes. I want my FF to treat me that way. Then I'm in trouble, and I've now gone over into the Flattered Friend Dark Zone. and No one likes that zone. Not ANYONE! It's dangerous. Full of sadness, jealousy, anger, depression, and chocolate. Stay away from this zone if you can. If the guy wants to be more than friends, HE WOULD'VE BEEN ALREADY! so you're alone in this ladies, so just.. try to numb any attraction you have toward this guy immediately and stick him back in the Friend-Friend zone. Trust me.
DO NOT make the girl you met less than 48 hours ago read poetry aloud to you in the morning. This makes us think two things... 1) you can't read. 2) you are the creepiest man alive. As my friend Chelsey says 'I don't do cold readings'... and she shouldn't have to. Why do you think that's ok? I just met you, I just STARTED to like you.. and now you've ruined your changes by making me feel as if i'm taking care of you in a nursing home. This may have worked in Beauty and the beast but it doesn't work in the real friggin world. And can we go back to the nursing home topic for a sec...?
Hey Ladies. These are places you PROBABLY shouldn't try to find men:
The Bar.
The Strip Club.
The Clinic.
or The Nursing Home.
and I honestly don't have anything else to say about that.
I also feel the need to blog about a story I heard last night. A Guy actually DREW a bouquet of flowers on a piece of paper. Now, flowers offend me. But the thought that some idiot guy couldn't even creepily buy real flowers, he DREW THEM!? I'm sorry. you need to be put down immediately. If you're gonna be a creep, you might as well act it out in real life. Love does not equal anime.
What happened in the world that the human race started behaving this way toward each other? What happened to meeting people, getting to know them, and liking them for who they were? I think of myself as a pretty honest human being, so chances are.. you're gonna know if you like me right away... and you're gonna know if i like YOU right away. you're either gonna be awesome or creepy. and if you're wondering why i haven't returned your calls lately, you should probably read 3 blogs back. It's safe to say that I don't think you're awesome.
Another deal breaker that must be addressed: Telling a girl you wanna marry her, before you've dated for at least.. and in weird circumstances.. a month or two. I keep meeting these guys who tell me i'm the woman of their dreams and the love of their life like.. a week after they met me! You know how I know you guys are lying? Have you seen me shave my legs yet? Have you seen me in the morning? Have you seen the scar on my knee? Have you heard me fart or burp? Do you know what I smell like when I smell bad? Have you seen the tooth missing in my mouth? I'm sure the answer to all of those things are no. And honestly? I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you I am perfect and precious all of the time. Although I want you to think this for as long as possible... I also want you to know what you're getting into. Cause there are gonna be days I don't want to put on my fake eyelashes or self-tanner, and I'd kinda like it if my husband didn't gasp when I look this way. So, before you're ready to throw around the MARRIAGE and MADLY IN LOVE words, I'm gonna have to ask you to smell my feet.....
Moving on. I'm actually confusing myself with this friend-friend idea. I know i'm the one who came up with it, but... I feel like the number of friend-friend guys in my life are getting smaller and smaller. Possibly because half of my friend-friends ended up dating me and going into flattered-friend zone. But anyways, You know a guy can only remain in the friend-friend zone pretty easily. You just ask yourself one question... Am i jealous of his girlfriend? If you are, then he cant be a friend-friend. if you're not jealous then, he's a friend-friend.
Now there IS a difference between being jealous he has a girlfriend, and just not liking the chic. Some of my friend-friends have dated girls, i just want to slap. I don't like the way they treat my FF's, i don't like the way they are little whiney babies, or I don't like that they are stealing their freedom. That doesn't mean I'm jealous of them, I just want my FF to find a new girl. If I'm jealous of them, I want to be in their shoes. I want my FF to treat me that way. Then I'm in trouble, and I've now gone over into the Flattered Friend Dark Zone. and No one likes that zone. Not ANYONE! It's dangerous. Full of sadness, jealousy, anger, depression, and chocolate. Stay away from this zone if you can. If the guy wants to be more than friends, HE WOULD'VE BEEN ALREADY! so you're alone in this ladies, so just.. try to numb any attraction you have toward this guy immediately and stick him back in the Friend-Friend zone. Trust me.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Boys and the city: The Deal Breaker.
Boys and the city: The Deal breaker.
One of the reasons that I can so easily get over a guy is because they almost always do or say something that is such a deal breaker that there is really no point of even speaking/looking/pretending to know this person at all anymore. Depending on the level of Deal Break, you will be treated accordingly. There are different deal breakers for everyone, for my brother USUALLY (except for this one time) if you have a child, you are immediately off the list. For most of my guy friends, I’d say that if your occupation is a stripper, that would be a deal breaker as well. These are extremes. Actually, I let A LOT slide. I think of myself as an open person. But some things will just not be tolerated.
Here are my personal deal breakers:
1. Buying me flowers. You can ask any family member of mine and they will tell you that if a guy buys me flowers, I’m going to dump him. It’s weird. It’s like, a sign of commitment to me. It’s like a creepy old man making you to wear his dead wife’s wedding ring. I have only openly accepted one bouquet of flowers, and I’m still not sure why yet. I think because it was delivered (I didn’t have to try and fake a smile, and a thank you) and because it was from my ACTUAL boyfriend, not just a guy I was dating. This is the only exception. If you are dating a girl like me (are there girls like me?) and you don’t want me to run as fast as I can in the other direction, I strongly suggest you get off the 1-800-flowers website and buy me a pizza. Cause that doesn't bug me at all =)
2. Being jealous of my guy friends. No matter what, Guys will ALWAYS say that they don’t mind that I have so many close guy friends. But it never fails, eventually they are going to start mentioning their discomfort with the time spent with them. I know that you’re supposed to “Choose” your guy friends over your boyfriend, and some of them maybe I would. But I have a few that I love dearly, and you have to love them too. Guess what, I am not gonna trip about your opposite sex friends (unless you give me a reason to). So don’t trip about mine. According to my categories you can only be somewhat jealous of the Good History. But that isn’t even valid, because of the keyword HISTORY. Just because I enjoyed my time spent with them doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave you for them. Can I enjoy the human race? Get it together. These guys wouldn’t be my friends if I really wanted to date them. I want to date you. Unless you are committing this deal breaker. Then, well. Don’t expect to hear from me ever again.
3. Clingers. For the thorough description, just read my previous blog about the Stage 5 Clinger. All Clingers must go immediately. I need a lot of space to breathe. I have giant lungs.
4. Surprise visits to my house. I don’t like having you show up randomly. I want you to believe that I always look as good as I do when I hang out with you for as long as possible. As soon as you surprise me at the door of my house in the morning and see me in my hulk pajama bottoms, fake tanner on my arms and my acne face medication on my face… you’ve ruined my self esteem. Now I have to try and prove to you that I’m naturally pretty. Which is now going to take more work than if I just caked on my normal 12 pounds of beauty product. See what you’ve done? Now all my secrets are out and I’m mad at you. You’ve not only seen me in an unflattering state, you’ve wasted all of that time and money spent on trying to look good for you, just for you to ruin it with a surprise coffee and bagel. I might not ever be the same. Or… I’ll just give up on you from sheer annoyance.
5. Being un-employed. I actually tried to date a guy who had no job. We dated for like a month. And it never bothered me that he didn’t work. Until he was asking my mom to make him breakfast, and I was feeding him 3 times a day. I’m not your mother. I’m not your sugar momma. I am generous. I like to pay for people. I like to take care of people. But if you have to ask me for an allowance, I’m going to kick you out immediately. Be a man. Work. If Jesus did it, so can you!
I think these are the ones that needed to be spoken about. Although of course the usual ones like, having a kid(that you never talked about), ignoring me in public or when your with your friends, cheating on me, trying to kill me, cussing out my friends, slashing my tires, and stalking me are obviously one way tickets out of my life.
Stay tuned for:....
Boys and the city: Friend-Friend
One of the reasons that I can so easily get over a guy is because they almost always do or say something that is such a deal breaker that there is really no point of even speaking/looking/pretending to know this person at all anymore. Depending on the level of Deal Break, you will be treated accordingly. There are different deal breakers for everyone, for my brother USUALLY (except for this one time) if you have a child, you are immediately off the list. For most of my guy friends, I’d say that if your occupation is a stripper, that would be a deal breaker as well. These are extremes. Actually, I let A LOT slide. I think of myself as an open person. But some things will just not be tolerated.
Here are my personal deal breakers:
1. Buying me flowers. You can ask any family member of mine and they will tell you that if a guy buys me flowers, I’m going to dump him. It’s weird. It’s like, a sign of commitment to me. It’s like a creepy old man making you to wear his dead wife’s wedding ring. I have only openly accepted one bouquet of flowers, and I’m still not sure why yet. I think because it was delivered (I didn’t have to try and fake a smile, and a thank you) and because it was from my ACTUAL boyfriend, not just a guy I was dating. This is the only exception. If you are dating a girl like me (are there girls like me?) and you don’t want me to run as fast as I can in the other direction, I strongly suggest you get off the 1-800-flowers website and buy me a pizza. Cause that doesn't bug me at all =)
2. Being jealous of my guy friends. No matter what, Guys will ALWAYS say that they don’t mind that I have so many close guy friends. But it never fails, eventually they are going to start mentioning their discomfort with the time spent with them. I know that you’re supposed to “Choose” your guy friends over your boyfriend, and some of them maybe I would. But I have a few that I love dearly, and you have to love them too. Guess what, I am not gonna trip about your opposite sex friends (unless you give me a reason to). So don’t trip about mine. According to my categories you can only be somewhat jealous of the Good History. But that isn’t even valid, because of the keyword HISTORY. Just because I enjoyed my time spent with them doesn’t mean I’m gonna leave you for them. Can I enjoy the human race? Get it together. These guys wouldn’t be my friends if I really wanted to date them. I want to date you. Unless you are committing this deal breaker. Then, well. Don’t expect to hear from me ever again.
3. Clingers. For the thorough description, just read my previous blog about the Stage 5 Clinger. All Clingers must go immediately. I need a lot of space to breathe. I have giant lungs.
4. Surprise visits to my house. I don’t like having you show up randomly. I want you to believe that I always look as good as I do when I hang out with you for as long as possible. As soon as you surprise me at the door of my house in the morning and see me in my hulk pajama bottoms, fake tanner on my arms and my acne face medication on my face… you’ve ruined my self esteem. Now I have to try and prove to you that I’m naturally pretty. Which is now going to take more work than if I just caked on my normal 12 pounds of beauty product. See what you’ve done? Now all my secrets are out and I’m mad at you. You’ve not only seen me in an unflattering state, you’ve wasted all of that time and money spent on trying to look good for you, just for you to ruin it with a surprise coffee and bagel. I might not ever be the same. Or… I’ll just give up on you from sheer annoyance.
5. Being un-employed. I actually tried to date a guy who had no job. We dated for like a month. And it never bothered me that he didn’t work. Until he was asking my mom to make him breakfast, and I was feeding him 3 times a day. I’m not your mother. I’m not your sugar momma. I am generous. I like to pay for people. I like to take care of people. But if you have to ask me for an allowance, I’m going to kick you out immediately. Be a man. Work. If Jesus did it, so can you!
I think these are the ones that needed to be spoken about. Although of course the usual ones like, having a kid(that you never talked about), ignoring me in public or when your with your friends, cheating on me, trying to kill me, cussing out my friends, slashing my tires, and stalking me are obviously one way tickets out of my life.
Stay tuned for:....
Boys and the city: Friend-Friend
Friday, August 28, 2009
Boys and the city: Stage 5 Clinger
Boys and the city: Stage 5 Clinger
I watched ‘He’s just not that into you’ tonight to remind me of how Stage 5 Clingers can be. Even though I have had a recent run in with a few myself. I know a few: Girls AND Boys. Forgive my honesty but, I think I get my personal Clingers because I liked them at first, or liked the attention, then somewhere down the line realized I didn’t like them anymore, or have found someone else and by then they’ve already fallen in love with me!
Honestly, I can meet a guy, think he’s cute, interesting, want to date him and then realize he’s not the one for me usually within 1-3 weeks time. It’s not my fault that the guy has done something or revealed something that I don’t like. If I tried to change this pattern of mine, then I would NEVER give a guy a chance. Anyways...
When I figure out this only going downhill (Honestly, this is usually after a guy gets jealous of my guy friends, cries, or kisses me.. But we'll get to that another time) So, I say ‘Hey, this isn’t working out for me.’ Or ‘I don’t know if I want this anymore’, and Slowly back away.. as AS SOON as the guy feels my pulling away they become a Stage 5 Clinger. They think ‘What did I do?’ ‘Maybe I can convince her to stay?’ ‘Maybe I can change her mind’ and so they persistently call/text/write and show up even when you say not to or drop by to surprise you or buy you gifts hoping your view on them will change.
But Gentlemen, You know what this does? It makes me go from not liking you to hating your guts. Truthfully. Because this goes back to my first blog. When I say ‘This isn’t working for me’ or ‘I’d rather be single’, the ideal response is ‘I Totally understand!’ and then to continue having a completely normal yet distant friendship. Then there is a possibility of me staying in your life in some sort of way. But when you push, and beg… You make not only feel sorry for you, but I get really irritated that you can’t respect my wishes.
Now on the other hand, I have seen some of my girlfriends become Stage 5 Clingers right in front of my eyes… and Although this may sound unfair, I still think it’s mostly the guys fault they become this way. Because I see a lot of guys who date/hook up with girls and then decide they don’t want to anymore (that’s ok.. everyone is entitled to their right to like or dislike people) and IF you decide to let them know, you CONTINUE to hook up with them or BOOTY call them when you’re lonely! Listen loud and clear guys, THAT IS NOT OK! You complain about the girl calling you non-stop, and texting you, and not understanding that you don’t want to be with them but the words and the actions don’t line up.
If your words are saying ‘I don’t like you’ and your actions are saying ‘I like you.. oh baby, oh baby’ it gets a LITTLE confusing. And Although I am a girl, It’s kinda hard for us girls to see… or choose to see.. that we are in fact a booty call that has now spent WAY too much time freaking out over a guy. I see a lot of booty call girls become stage 5 clingers because they like hooking up or hanging out so much that they think, if they do it enough, that the guy will change his mind and realize he’s missing out, and wants the girl around FOR GOOD. But that will never happen.
Guys that truly like girls won’t use them for booty calls.
And Girls that truly like guys won’t tell them they don’t want to be with them.
It really can be that simple.
Next Blog: Boys and the city: The Deal Breaker
I watched ‘He’s just not that into you’ tonight to remind me of how Stage 5 Clingers can be. Even though I have had a recent run in with a few myself. I know a few: Girls AND Boys. Forgive my honesty but, I think I get my personal Clingers because I liked them at first, or liked the attention, then somewhere down the line realized I didn’t like them anymore, or have found someone else and by then they’ve already fallen in love with me!
Honestly, I can meet a guy, think he’s cute, interesting, want to date him and then realize he’s not the one for me usually within 1-3 weeks time. It’s not my fault that the guy has done something or revealed something that I don’t like. If I tried to change this pattern of mine, then I would NEVER give a guy a chance. Anyways...
When I figure out this only going downhill (Honestly, this is usually after a guy gets jealous of my guy friends, cries, or kisses me.. But we'll get to that another time) So, I say ‘Hey, this isn’t working out for me.’ Or ‘I don’t know if I want this anymore’, and Slowly back away.. as AS SOON as the guy feels my pulling away they become a Stage 5 Clinger. They think ‘What did I do?’ ‘Maybe I can convince her to stay?’ ‘Maybe I can change her mind’ and so they persistently call/text/write and show up even when you say not to or drop by to surprise you or buy you gifts hoping your view on them will change.
But Gentlemen, You know what this does? It makes me go from not liking you to hating your guts. Truthfully. Because this goes back to my first blog. When I say ‘This isn’t working for me’ or ‘I’d rather be single’, the ideal response is ‘I Totally understand!’ and then to continue having a completely normal yet distant friendship. Then there is a possibility of me staying in your life in some sort of way. But when you push, and beg… You make not only feel sorry for you, but I get really irritated that you can’t respect my wishes.
Now on the other hand, I have seen some of my girlfriends become Stage 5 Clingers right in front of my eyes… and Although this may sound unfair, I still think it’s mostly the guys fault they become this way. Because I see a lot of guys who date/hook up with girls and then decide they don’t want to anymore (that’s ok.. everyone is entitled to their right to like or dislike people) and IF you decide to let them know, you CONTINUE to hook up with them or BOOTY call them when you’re lonely! Listen loud and clear guys, THAT IS NOT OK! You complain about the girl calling you non-stop, and texting you, and not understanding that you don’t want to be with them but the words and the actions don’t line up.
If your words are saying ‘I don’t like you’ and your actions are saying ‘I like you.. oh baby, oh baby’ it gets a LITTLE confusing. And Although I am a girl, It’s kinda hard for us girls to see… or choose to see.. that we are in fact a booty call that has now spent WAY too much time freaking out over a guy. I see a lot of booty call girls become stage 5 clingers because they like hooking up or hanging out so much that they think, if they do it enough, that the guy will change his mind and realize he’s missing out, and wants the girl around FOR GOOD. But that will never happen.
Guys that truly like girls won’t use them for booty calls.
And Girls that truly like guys won’t tell them they don’t want to be with them.
It really can be that simple.
Next Blog: Boys and the city: The Deal Breaker
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Boys in the City: The Misconception
Dear Lovers,
There is definitely a misconception about me in relationships. If you asked most people at my church, my job, most of the friends, they would tell you that I am a relationship flake... I'm fickle... Some may even say that I have no idea what I want.. or I am just too difficult to please. But only 95% of that is true. See, I have what most people would call a 'cocky' attitude, When REALLY I just have a very healthy self-esteem. I don't find myself better than other people (really.. i don't. unless you're stupid), I just know who I am, and I know what I want. I'm not afraid of hurting someone if I know that the truth must be told. Why do we think we have to suffer for someone else's feelings? I might in some situations, but not for love. Not when we're looking at a lifetime together. No way! I'm gonna be as honest as possible in action or word. Yes, sometimes in action. Here are some examples:
If I don't call you back, I don't want to talk to you.
If I pull away when I think you're gonna kiss me, I don't want you to kiss me.
If I don't touch you or flirt with you at all, I just don't like you.
If I invite all of my friends on a date, Then I didn't want to be alone with you.
If I don't show up to a date, Then... I really... don't like you.
You would think I wouldn't have to explain these things right? But I actually do. Because 9 out of 10 guys usually don't get the above physical signs. Let's go on to verbal signs:
I mean from the deep deep core and center of my heart every word below when I say...
I don't like you.
I don't want to date you.
I don't want to be your girlfriend.
I don't want to marry you.
I don't think we should be friends.
I don't think I can hang out with you.
I think we'd be better off as friends.
I would rather be single for the rest of my life.
Again, CRAZY that the above statements could not be taken seriously. But maybe that's why I have been labeled as such a heartless and evil dater. Because boys in the city do not listen.
Look... I love people. I love communication with people. I am a hopeless romantic. I have recently taken up wedding receptions at my job, and every time I see a couple in their post wedding bliss... It makes me want one of my own. But only with someone who I don't want to kill after the first 3-30 days i've known or dated them. I'm going to write about a different situation with my boys every day in a new blog. and maybe someone out there can relate, or understand, or... gasp.. LEARN SOMETHING!
Until then let me leave you with a few facts about myself:
I am stubborn.
I am secure in myself.
I am determined to be happy.
I am intelligent.
I am blunt.
I am mean if you deserve it.
I push myself too hard.
I hate when people (mostly boys) don't... listen.
Tomorrow's Blog: "Boys in the City: The Stage 5 Clinger"
There is definitely a misconception about me in relationships. If you asked most people at my church, my job, most of the friends, they would tell you that I am a relationship flake... I'm fickle... Some may even say that I have no idea what I want.. or I am just too difficult to please. But only 95% of that is true. See, I have what most people would call a 'cocky' attitude, When REALLY I just have a very healthy self-esteem. I don't find myself better than other people (really.. i don't. unless you're stupid), I just know who I am, and I know what I want. I'm not afraid of hurting someone if I know that the truth must be told. Why do we think we have to suffer for someone else's feelings? I might in some situations, but not for love. Not when we're looking at a lifetime together. No way! I'm gonna be as honest as possible in action or word. Yes, sometimes in action. Here are some examples:
If I don't call you back, I don't want to talk to you.
If I pull away when I think you're gonna kiss me, I don't want you to kiss me.
If I don't touch you or flirt with you at all, I just don't like you.
If I invite all of my friends on a date, Then I didn't want to be alone with you.
If I don't show up to a date, Then... I really... don't like you.
You would think I wouldn't have to explain these things right? But I actually do. Because 9 out of 10 guys usually don't get the above physical signs. Let's go on to verbal signs:
I mean from the deep deep core and center of my heart every word below when I say...
I don't like you.
I don't want to date you.
I don't want to be your girlfriend.
I don't want to marry you.
I don't think we should be friends.
I don't think I can hang out with you.
I think we'd be better off as friends.
I would rather be single for the rest of my life.
Again, CRAZY that the above statements could not be taken seriously. But maybe that's why I have been labeled as such a heartless and evil dater. Because boys in the city do not listen.
Look... I love people. I love communication with people. I am a hopeless romantic. I have recently taken up wedding receptions at my job, and every time I see a couple in their post wedding bliss... It makes me want one of my own. But only with someone who I don't want to kill after the first 3-30 days i've known or dated them. I'm going to write about a different situation with my boys every day in a new blog. and maybe someone out there can relate, or understand, or... gasp.. LEARN SOMETHING!
Until then let me leave you with a few facts about myself:
I am stubborn.
I am secure in myself.
I am determined to be happy.
I am intelligent.
I am blunt.
I am mean if you deserve it.
I push myself too hard.
I hate when people (mostly boys) don't... listen.
Tomorrow's Blog: "Boys in the City: The Stage 5 Clinger"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
