Boys and the city: History

Because of the amount of men in my past life I had to do a clean up job and seperate my ex's into two categories. 1- Good History. 2- Bad History.

Good History is when I've dated a guy, we broke up, and i'd either date him again or continue to be his friend. Good History can also be that guy that you'd consider getting dinner with or hanging out with when you need to feel special (you know who you are mrs.) This happens. and It's kind of... Sad in a way. There have been guys in my life that i've had problems getting completely over. Like, why aren't we together again? why don't you like me? why didn't it work? and that's the worst. Usually around those type of guys I have to continualy remind myself of their deal breaker or downfall. Or just be happy that I still have them in my life. This one guy everyone knows is my Good History because it always goes back to him. If i see him in the street I must immediately look the other way, cause you know it's gonna be bad for me. If i have dated you before, and you still give me butterflies when i see you.. then your history is just too good! Maybe those kinda guys SHOULD be bad history. Obviously your not gonna date them again. SO they just need to die somewhere and leave you alone.

Bad History is pretty self explanatory. I hate you. You suck. I don't ever wanna date you again. You screwed me over. You made me mad. You broke every deal a dealbreaker could break. You have failed in life or in love and I'm gonna have to ask you to evacuate life and shut your mouth. Did I even need to explain?

Now what i'm so confused about is why Guys can't use the bad history category when looking back on their ex girlfriends. Every guy puts their ex's in like this.. anything goes category. Like, they might SAY they hate their ex girlfriend but they wouldn't even be mean to her face. or they might SAY that they'd never date them again but if you were lonely or if they showed up at your doorstep, you'd let them in and offer them a beverage. I'm not trying to say every guy has to hate their ex girlfriend but do they EVER? REALLY? I hate some of my ex's and even last night I saw one and he was completely civil to me. Why are you even acknowledging my existence? you should ignore me. I broke your heart. I was evil and mean to you. and you'd still let me go have coffee with you right now if I wanted to?

Guys- If a girl breaks your heart, cheats on you, stops calling you, flakes on you, makes excuses and breaks up with you. It's ok to not like her. It's ok to say.. No, you can't come over. Because you know what? She doesn't REALLY like you, or you wouldn't be keyword: HISTORY! She's using you! Because we girls know the power we have over our ex's. We know how to push their buttons and get our way and i know that this is evil, but it's true. Protect yourselves gentlemen! Put a friggin stop sign on your door, and say NO to the comfortable hook-up. It's never gonna be a good thing.

Now girls go delete your ex boyfriends number from your phone. And Guys? start hating on some girls. It's fun, believe me!